Encouraging children to play independently is an important aspect of their development. It helps them build confidence, concentration, creativity, persistence, and problem-solving skills. It also provides you with time to get things done or just a short break! Independent play is great for both kids and parents and an important skills for children to develop.
Independent play can start as early as infancy! While of course it is crucial for caregivers to interact with their infants often, babies benefit from independent time on the floor exploring their environment. Even before they are mobile, babies can look at and feel the world around them. High-contrast cards or books, mobiles, a mirror at their level, and the outdoors are great ways to start with independent "play" for young infants. As babies get older, they can play independently with rattles, grasping beads, teethers, balls, and other safe toys while a caregiver is nearby but not necessarily actively interacting constantly.
Independent play becomes even more important in toddlerhood and beyond. Here are some ways caregivers can encourage toddlers and young children to play independently:
Provide a safe environment: Ensure that the play area is safe, free from potential hazards, and stimulating. A "yes space" (a safe, baby-proofed environment) gives children the freedom to explore and play without constant supervision. We have most of our house set up to be a "yes space" so Sophie can explore and play while we're nearby but not closely supervising.
Offer interesting toys and activities: Provide toys and activities that are developmentally appropriate and will engage your child's curiosity and imagination. Observe your child's interests and the skills they are working on to figure out what types of toys and activities to provide. Offering toys and activities the child is highly interested in helps a lot with their independent play! Also, consider implementing a toy rotation to keep the options limited but fresh and interesting.
Connect first: Before expecting your child to play independently, connect with them by playing or reading together. Even if it's only for a few minutes, put your phone away, turn off the TV, and give them your full focus. This will help enable them to play on their own.
Start small & keep expectations realistic: If your child is new to playing independently or does not do it often, aim for even a minute or two. Keep in mind that young children have short attention spans; even a toddler who practices independent play daily may not play independently for more than 10 or 15 minutes, so keep your expectations reasonable.
Suggest an activity: Offer something for them to play with, or even introduce something new (at first). This can help get them going with independent play. Sometimes I will get Sophie started on something then let her know that I need to do something else, and she will continue the activity.
Stay nearby but busy: Especially at first, stay nearby but make yourself unavailable. For example, wash the dishes in the kitchen while your child plays in the adjacent living room, get yourself ready for the day while your child plays with toys in your room, or read a book on the couch of the room your child is playing in. If your child interrupts you, let them know that you aren't available to play right now, but that you will be once you're finished.
Hold the boundary kindly but firmly: If your child tests the boundary, remind them that it's time for them to play alone and let them know when you will be available. Take them back to their activity if needed. This may need to be repeated a lot if your child is used to you always playing with them, but hold the boundary and it will pay off. As always, sticking to the boundaries you have set is SO important.
Keep in mind that independent play is a muscle. The more your child practices, the better they will get at it! If possible, make time for at least a short amount of independent play every day. Making it part of your daily routine, such as if they play independently every morning while you get ready or every afternoon while the baby naps, will help them know when to expect to play independently.
It's okay if independent play looks different than what you pictured. Sometimes it could look like pulling everything out of a cabinet, dragging pillows around the house, or using a material incorrectly. Personally, I let her do these kinds of things as long as my daughter is safe and not endangering herself or our home environment.
My daughter Sophie generally loves playing independently. We have been practicing regularly since she was about two months old, when we would set up interesting things to look at in her movement area and let her explore them (visually) on her own. Although she does not necessarily play by herself for extended periods of time and it can depend on the day and her mood, she does play independently often and usually happily. As a full-time working mom who sometimes works remotely, does contract work on the side, and recently finished my Ph.D., we built the muscle out of necessity, but it has been great for all of us.
One of my favorite places to get the longest and best independent play is outdoors! We have a fenced-in backyard, so I often sit on our back porch and work or read while Sophie and our two dogs run around and play. With a slightly older child, this would also work at a park or other safe outdoor area.
Does this mean you should never play with your child? Of course not! Playing with caregivers (as well as other children) is important too, but many parents nowadays seem to feel burdened by a "need" to constantly play with or entertain their children. This is not necessary. Independent play can be beneficial for everyone.
Building the independent play muscle requires patience, consistency, and a willingness to let go of constantly entertaining. By providing a safe environment, offering interesting toys and activities, connecting first, starting small, suggesting activities, staying nearby but busy, holding the boundary kindly but firmly, and continuing to practice every day, you can help your child develop their independent play skills while also gifting yourself with time to get things done or just take a break.
Commenti